Archetypes of Emotional Drama
Knowing the characters inside
Large changes to the patterns in your life happen when we shift our perspective from the belief bubble of the identified characters. As we continue to observe with more clarity and detachment, the thoughts and emotional reactions lose their grip. We become aware of the archetype in operation and the corresponding beliefs. Archetypes were developed through conditioning in us and the constructed characters contain certain qualities as their nature. Rather than identifying with those archetypes, we need to see them as voices spoken from the belief bubble. It helps us develop emotional integrity and reduces the emotional drama that exaggerates our feelings and behaviors and increases natural genuine expressions.
The six major archetypes that create emotional drama are:
1. The judge: We all have a ‘judge’ character in us that continuously passes verdicts about ourselves, other people, and the world. The judge believes that it is right and has got the authority to decide what is good and what is bad. He appreciates if we abide by the laws or else, he punishes. Most often, the laws are fabricated within our minds. The judge condemns, criticizes, and rejects. The judge contaminates our ability to see reality as they are, cannot understand from others' perspectives, and cannot forgive. The judge generates anger, hatred, fear, and hurts, and thus keeps people away.
2. The victim: On the contrary to the judge, the victim receives the complaints and criticisms, feels guilty and regretful, and takes on the responsibility to change oneself. The other's judgments are extremely important for the victim and it measures its worthiness with respect to the feedback. If the feedback is negative, the victim feels worthless and powerless. Apparently, the victim archetypes create emotional dramas through self-told stories, particularly from the perspective of its belief bubble rather than an actual experience.
3. The pleaser: While the judge criticizes people and the victim criticizes himself, the pleaser begs others to like himself. The pleaser always has the priority to create impression on others, and continuously worries about other people’s opinions. The need for actual life priorities and achievements are often ignored. The pleaser believes that love, respect, and acceptance are lacking in himself and it has to be earned from the other. When the compassionate do it selflessly, the pleaser does it for a self-image.
4. The fixer: In order to get attention, credit, or a reward of praise, the fixer goes on acting to fix the problems. He is on a constant endeavor to show people how he outsmarts the others. And he focuses on a continuous buildup of a positive image in the minds of others. He believes that he can repair every other problem and he demands attention two is constant advice. For any problem that you may tell him, he will immediately start advising from his learned tactics. In case if we reject his ideas, he gets hurt.
5. The Princess: The Princess believes that she's entitled to receive and authorized to give orders. The Princess has her own expectations, and she imagines everyone to understand and work towards meeting her needs. Yes, we need to pursue what we want and enjoy our life, and also we need to seek our physical and emotional needs, however, the Princess demands them.
6. The villain: The rebel, perpetrator, avenger or saboteur works from the basis of the judge’s righteousness and provides moral justification for his actions and behaviors. He disrespects, punches, and dehumanizes others to grab his needs and he demands constant respect. He deliberately overreacts with violent emotions and behaviors. He likes to dominate, keep others in control, and earn what he commands. Even more, the villain character in us spontaneously reacts in unanticipated situations, takes control, reacts, and destroys power relationships and life.
Within the belief bubble of an archetype, the activities of the judge such as comparison, condemnation, and criticism appear to be authentic opinions. The judge would make us feel that the problem lies in the other and somehow, we are perfect. This happened in a recent situation when my friend reacted and judged me on my action. He immediately said I did wrong and that that I have to apologize before the entire team. I defended, and I left the place for a few days. The priorities of the projects took a backseat, and morality took charge. It was clear to me that he was being judgmental and he's speaking from his own rules written in his belief bubble. After a week, I engaged in an open discussion with the person and I made him notice how judgmental he was, and how he was trying to fix my problem. In fact, his trial to develop a positive image in the minds of the team produced adverse effects. I also mentioned that I had never appointed him as a judge and that I had never sought any help. I also pointed out how effective my action was, and that in the long-term help in the speedy growth of the project. This put that person into an observer perspective and helped contemplate on his self-appointed role of being a judge. Thereafter he realized his fault for judging me, and he asked for my forgiveness.
The judge predicts that future experiences would be similar to the past and prevents any form of creativity. The judge entertains us when we follow the rules laid by him and rejects and punishes us if otherwise. Nevertheless, we often comply with the inner talks of the should and shouldn’t boundaries of the judge who is nothing but an echo from the memory of our elders in childhood. Interestingly, the number of rules laid by the judge kept on growing as we grew up. As our emotions were generated based on its approvals, we appointed it as our trusted advisor and gave authority to give orders. As we grow, we realize that the internalized rules of the judge are no more applicable and that we have grown enough to shed societal conditioning. In actuality, judgmentalism reduces love in our life and keeps our loved ones at bay.
As we started identifying with the archetypes, it becomes difficult to recognize our true selves. As we develop our skills to disidentify from these characters in us, we naturally disengage from the all-knowing authority figures. For example, if we react in anger, frustration, and feel to punish and destroy people, the villain is in action. When the villain makes a mistake, the judge classifieds his actions as ‘wrong’ and the fixer engages himself pretending to be the problem solver and suggests ideas based on his past knowledge. The victim listens to the fixer, takes on the responsibility for the negative results, and acts as per instruction. Even though the victim character helped us influence other people's behaviors and avoided punishments in early childhood, its emotional reactions are now outdated and need to be restructured as per improvised belief bubbles. When these archetypes function from their fabricated beliefs bubbles and volunteer, the archetypes are in control rather than us. When we learn the archetypes through the structured system, it helps us to adapt and develop the skill of witnessing from the perspective of an observer and get the freedom to engage in the true self.